Beauty and the geek

Wefind out what's so magnetic about the 'not-so-attractive' men that make even the most gorgeous girls fall for them...
She's stunning, she's desirable, men drool on her and girls envy her. But strangely enough, she falls in love with an older man with salt and pepper tresses, a pot belly, or worse yet, a married man who didn't even try to impress her.And you're left wondering - what made this sexy lass choose the 'plainest Jack'. Often, the harder you try to understand a woman, the more difficult it may seem.
So, what is it that makes a man appear attractive to a woman? If Tom Cruise's super hot looks or SRK's six-pack abs is what you are considering, think again! Dr. Kamal Khurana, a relationship counselor, asserts, "When it comes to choosing a partner, men and women are often driven by looks. However, you can't judge a person by his looks alone; it is the compatibility quotient and the temperament of both partners that ultimately matters. It's important to be practical and not emotional while taking such decisions. You never know, even the worst looking man might just turn out to be the most romantic and intelligent man."
While women's choices may often baffle and irk handsome hunks, we find out what's so magnetic about the 'not-so-attractive' men that makes even the most gorgeous girls fall for them...
Think like a woman!
You have everything that you may think is enough to grab the sexy lady next door - drool-worthy looks, a perfect body to flaunt, the perfect hair-do, sexiest tattoos or the funkiest bike in town! Well, here's a reality check. The first step to win your dream girl is to think not like a man ��� but a woman. Get to know what she wants and what turns her on? Believe it or not, most women believe that looks are deceptive as Raima Sahni, a wedding planner, states, "Rather than a hunk with numerous lady-admirers, I'd choose an average looking, but intelligent man who makes me secure ��� both emotionally and financially. Dating an unattractive man is also like a feel-good factor, which may boost my self-esteem as he showers me with compliments all the while."
Akanksha Tiwari, 29, who has been married since four years confesses, "I think it's irrational to judge a person by his looks. My husband has average looks and when we decided to get hitched, most of my friends and family members were apprehensive. But I went against them as I believed looks are superficial and what mattered in the long run was compatibility. What attracted me towards him was his intelligence. He was tech savvy and hard working too. He doesn't believe in taking favours and achieves his goals on his own merit. I simply loved his attitude towards work. Moreover, he treats me like a princess and goes out of his way to pamper me."
The secret revealed
Many times we find that unattractive men land up with the most gorgeous women because they have certain hidden qualities that they use to their advantage. These men score over handsome hunks as they spend less time in front of the mirror and more time in enhancing their professional skills. They have a completely different strategy to win the woman of their dreams. While hot hunks are looking out for hot babes, these men are on the look out for ordinary women who don't yet know they have the potential to be super hot. Here's where the ordinary men steal the show and outwit the attractive men.
"I agree that I am not very good-looking, but I have the prettiest girlfriend. My friends and colleagues used to make fun of me as I am overweight. They called me by weird names and mocked me. But, now, they wonder how I managed to get this girl. Priyanka, my girlfriend, was impressed with my photography. I recently gifted a collection of my photographs to her and she loved it. She says she fell for me because I was talented and didn't boast about my achievements," adds Siddharth Kaushik (name changed on request), who works with a software company in Pune.
Do looks matter in a relationship?
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The feel good factor
It's not just women who love to be spoilt with compliments, but men too. Dating an attractive woman certainly gives an 'unappealing' man a high. The fact that he has won over a beauty boosts his self-esteem and makes him feel good about himself. His friends envy him and just being with her makes him popular than ever. So, if you thought all that you deserved was a plain Jane, it's time to change your perception. Even if you are the ordinary Surinder Sahni from Rab Ne Bana De Jodi, you can still win the prettiest woman ever!
Ravi Tripathi, 26, who works with a multi-national company in Delhi, says, "Whether anybody admits it or not, looks do matter in a relationship. When I was in college, none of the girls wanted to go out with me. I am short and skinny and girls used to look down on me. Then, I met a girl in my previous company who was 5'9" and very pretty. Though, I liked her, but I never found the courage to approach her due to my inferiority complex. One day, a friend of mine told me that even she liked me and wanted to meet me. Finally, she proposed to me a few days later and we have been together since the past one-and-a-half years. Now, my colleagues envy me and ask me how I impressed her."
It's not always about money!
Often, when a pretty woman is spotted with a geek, the first thought that comes to our minds is ��� what did she possibly see in him? Moolah? Well, wait a while before you assume. Financial stability is important, but it does take a lot more to win a woman's heart than just money. You certainly don't want to bait your woman to make her fall in love with you, do you?
"Money matters to a woman as it provides her security and financial stability, but that's certainly not the sole reason why a woman would date a man. People who are not conventionally good-looking may have something else to offer to their prospective partner. Also, people generally try to make up for what they lack in life ��� whether it is good looks or stability," explains Arvinder Singh, a psychotherapist and counselor.
The 'real' man
Women also confess that unattractive men are more likely to be loyal as they are content with what they have and don't get tempted to betray their partners. Most women who are scouting for men, seek a partner not just for 'good-looks,' but for the 'real' man. Someone who can make them feel secure, bring stability into their lives and who are capable of having an intelligent and mature conversation. Also, women love to be with men who are spontaneous, can make them laugh and are fun to be with. So, even if you do not know the art of wooing or seducing a woman, you still have a ten-on-ten chance to make her go crazy with your sense of humour.
Moushmi Banerjee (name changed on request), 24, who's parents have been looking for a match admit, "I have met at least five men till now, hoping to find the right guy, but I still haven't been able to do so. All of them are quite good-looking and have great jobs, but I want to marry a person with a great sense of humour. Looks matter initially in a relationship, but in the long-run, it is security and stability that steal the show."
Been there, done that
Some of these stunning beauties are tired of being approached by good-looking men who are least interested in a long-term relationship. In most cases, beautiful women who are single, are fed up of head games and crave for a trustworthy man. Surprisingly, these women do not have anyone courting them, they also complain of low self-worth and are vying for true love. And then comes the ordinary guy, who not just gives her the love that she's been longing for, but also transforms her into the most content woman!
"I was dating an extremely good-looking man for the last three years. It was only recently that he dumped me for another girl. I felt humiliated and heart broken. I never wanted to get into a relationship again. Two months ago, I met a guy in my office, who was extremely courteous and polite. He helped me a lot with my work and soon we became good friends. I think he is the right guy for me as he completely understands me," confesses Richa, 27, who works with a publishing house in Delhi.
"A woman may get attracted to an unappealing man if she has been cheated and is vulnerable. She may also get attracted to him if there is disharmony in her family and she feels loved and accepted in the company of this guy. If you are a nice guy, you will attract a beautiful woman in your life if you believe in it. Nice guys do not always finish last," adds Arvinder.
Do looks matter in a relationship?
rakshita.pandey@indiatimes.co.in
Also Read:
New rules of attraction
Men will always be men
Men 'willingly' risk life to woo women
Are you dating a married man?
Women give thumbs down to dominant men
Women want romance not riches: Survey
It's official: Women find hubbies more irritating
From acquaintances to lovers!
Men find women's long locks sexiest